Because I was traveling Wednesday evening, I was unable to attend the WIMBA session. I instead asked two of my critical friends, my husband and my friend of many years, Shawn, to read my article draft, and offer comments. Both my husband, a regional sales manager, and Shawn, an insurance agent, have experience reading fairly technical documentation, so I felt I would receive thorough feedback from them. I emailed each of them the draft of my paper, and they had similar comments.
David, my husband, commented that although the topic is interesting (and he's lived through it for the last 10 months with me), the article is dry. He said it doesn't sound like me at all - that it is too formal. He also added that some images would help the reader to understand exactly what I was trying to say. I've looked back at some of the articles in Science Scope, and mine is probably too formal.
Shawn, my friend, commented that she was not surprised by the results of my research. She thought that I had written clearly and she understood what I had done. She asked about the format I was supposed to use for my final draft - when I reviewed my draft I realized I had not yet put it into APA format - something I will do before my final submission. She also commented that it sounded formal, and that some images would be helpful to the reader.
Wow, excellent feedback. I hope that their comments helped you create a better document.
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